Wednesday Morning Wake-up
So I’m watching Eastbound and Down last night and Kenny Powers shows up to his friends funeral with a boom box blasting “Alive” by Pearl Jam. Which got me thinking, if you could have one song played at your funeral, what would you choose? I personally had a bit of trouble with this one. Should I go with something more traditional, like a proven tear jerker? Something like “In My Life” by The Beatles or Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven”? You play either of those at your funeral and it’s gonna be fucking sob city. Just waterworks everywhere. Guaranteed. Even if you were a total jackass (see: me) people would be weeping non-stop just talking about what a great guy I was, when in reality I really haven’t accomplished anything of merit in my entire life. But I’m not sure I want all of that commotion at my funeral. I think I want to keep the mood light, you know, keep the people on their feet. Have people come in expecting something like “Dust in the Wind” and then maybe hit them with a total change-up and blast some Biggie. Song selection doesn’t need to even make any fucking sense. Maybe some Snoop. “Gin & Juice” would definitely get the people in the back pews to start nodding their heads. Perhaps just go for complete irreverence and request “Ten Crack Commandments.” I mean say what you will about the appropriateness at a funeral but that’s just a great fucking song. I was going to go with that until this morning it hit me. I thought back to my youth, which, as I’m sure you’ve remembered me saying, was the high point of my life to date. I thought back to the 90’s and all of the random one-hit wonders that were huge from bands that are now completely irrelevant. And that’s when I knew what song I had to choose. “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba. No song could better define my life. Completely irrelevant. Holds little to no artistic or social value. Pretty stupid when you break it all down. Makes no goddamn sense, but can be fun to listen to once or twice. Just like me. I’m good in small doses, but if you ever had to have more than a fiv-minute conversation with me, justl ike if you ever tried to listen to a full Chumbawamba album, you’d probably lose your fucking mind. So in honor of that I’m making my first Wednesday morning wake-up song “Tubthumping”.