Well I’ve been awake since 7 am this morning signing up for and dropping classes and have realized two things:
1) Students out here have entirely too much time on their hands and…
2) I’m a colossal idiot.
Anyways today is orientation week at Sydney University and I’ve now signed up for a full four classes that span over the course of three days. Apparently this is the norm for students out here which raises the question of what the hell do Australians students do all day? The answer,apparently, besides make exorbitant amounts of money (minimum wage out here is $16/hour), is invent ridiculous clubs to join. Today on campus they were holding sign-ups for the clubs (they call them societies here). So out of curiosity I went through some of the tents to see what was offered. There were all your regular clubs you’d see on campus: religious clubs, LGBT clubs, and political clubs. But after that it got ridiculous. There were clubs for literally anything you could ever want to do. I was walking through the sport clubs and there was a sport called underwater scuba hockey. What the hell is underwater hockey? The tagline for the club was, “Nothing is more thriliing, than hockey underwater.” Is that so? Any chance it’s as low scoring as above water hockey, because if it is it can’t really be that thrilling. The chocolate lovers society? Really, how many people don’t like chocolate? That’s like having the oxygen lovers’ society. No shit everyone likes it, but do we really need a society to tell everyone about it? Should I start a club for people who like getting 8 hours of sleep each night? Anyways, while I’m sifting through all these meaningless clubs, I see what has to be the greatest society or club or group or whatever the hell you want to call it ever invented. The beer drinking and music appreciation society. Holy hell. There’s a club for drinking beer and listening to music? A club for listening to music and drinking beer? That’s literally what I spend 75% of my day doing already. If only I could find a club for sitting on my ass and being completely useless, to cover the other 25% of my day I’d be in heaven. What are the club meetings going to consist of though, a bunch of kids sitting around a keg and listening to some shitty indie musicians latest EP? I’m not so sure I’m down for that, but I signed up for it anyways, in the hopes that it would just consist of, you know, drinking beer and listening to actually halfway decent music.
But in other things I learned today, I’m infinitely dumber than anyone you’ve ever met. Seriously. Apparently filling a blog with a bunch of meaningless stories and enough foul language to make a construction workers ears bleed doesn’t actually constitute good writing. Who knew! I talked to a few people today who informed me that not only did my blog make me seem like the single angriest asshole in the world, but that my stories and style of writing really made me seem like an ungrateful dick who hated this country. They suggested I try this new thing called thinking creatively when I write, and maybe use a larger diction than a half-sedated punch-drunk boxer. It was revolutionary. Here I was thinking that cursing once every five words in my blog and generally acting like a complete moron was good writing when in reality it was just me acting like a complete and total jackass. Well damn.
So anyway here’s the start to me trying to write with some amount of creativity and in a style that wouldn’t make my mother and anyone who has ever known me cry tears of embarrassment. And if there was any doubt about this country and how beautiful it is and all the people inside it are:
That’s the beach I live next to. I. Love. This. Country.